15.06.2008
Dear Jessica
As I said it doesn’t make me feel any better, dating other girls. Only sending me back to feel more about you.
Good to hear you talk with your father again. I am sure you going to have good grades and you will be able to go wherever you want. I hope everything else is good as you wish it to be.
I don’t want to heart you, neither to hurt myself. I will be happy if you come to Israel this December, I don’t want to affect your feelings about Israel, neither about my family (that I sure will be happy to guest you – something l unfortunately, don’t think can do). As you said it was a your best vacation, I am sure your next one will be even better.
There is nothing more I want than to see you again.
There is nothing less In to world I want is to put you on a plane back home again. I really don’t know if I can stand it again. You are much smarter, more adult and healthier than I do. And “much more”, I think, in everything. I am sure it will not hurt you and will no make you feel nothing bad about nor Israel nor my family and not yourself.
I am sorry about the long letter.
You may think I am enjoying writing you as 17 years old boy writing you useless love letters.
I need to forget you as you said, but I don’t want to. As sarcastic stupid and naive as it sound I must ask your help – to help me forget about you.
I always look for someone like you, avoiding what good about the girl.
Please don’t answer my letters , I need to learn to live without waiting to your letters and the day you will come visit again. Don’t give me hope that I will one day have you, I need to understand you live over there. I’m repeating myself.
I really don’t know why you keep answering my stupid,ugly childish letters I write you.
They are not made to hurt you, only to express my feelings. The fact you answer them just make me love you even more. Just like the fact the sun will rise tomorrow I know I will wake up and realize I have been dreaming about again and that you are not here. Everywhere I go I think, whether you will love it and when I’ll take you there. The more I think about, the more I understand I will not able to meet you if you will come. I’m sorry.
take care
Gad love Jessica