Haifa, Israel
And Nathan….
And Nathan doesn’t knew yet that Ima has cancer.
Ima and Aba decided not to tell him.
You know where he is now, he is supposed to get to Sanata Barbara today to visit you. This is the reason you not know about it yet – That you won’t tell him.
The Idea is that he won’t know yet. Not until he come back from his All-Israeli-After-The-Army-Long-Trip. Ima knows that if she would have told him, he would have catch the first plane back home. I told them we can convince him to continue his trip, they said that he won’t enjoy it. “So let him decide he is a grown up.”
“And then what?” she asked me. “I miss him, but after he will come I will feel guilty for ruin his trip. Let him enjoy it”.
It is not the first time my parents does it, hiding things. When Nathan was on 9th grade our grandmother died from cancer (we don’t which kind, grandfather don’t talk about it). They didn’t tell him, he missed her funeral and was mad about them.
They told Fatma only after she came back from passover scouts trips, again for the same reason.
And I learned from them, “What they don’t know, cannot hurt them”.
The Doctors find out I am single kidney during a set of tests after an easy car accident. I wouldn’t have told her, but Aba pick up the answer for me. We laughed about it. Later, when we were alone she said to me “If I had known I have those fucked up genes I would have never given birth to Guri and Fatma”. I think you knew Ima enough to realize how bad things has to be to make her say that.
How can I tell her I have heart problems. Grandfather died from hurt attack, but convince Ima that comes from Aba genes will be almost impossible.
Take Care
Gad